Beer Troubleshooting

Beer Troubleshooting

Symptom The floor looks blurred
Fault You’re looking through an empty glass
Action Get someone to buy you another pint

Symptom You’re drinking lager and it’s warm
Fault You’re drinking too slowly
Action Drink faster

Symptom You don’t recognise anyone
Fault You’re at the wrong party
Action Find out if there’s free beer

Symptom Your singing sounds off key
Fault You’ve not had enough beer
Action Have more beer until it sounds better

Symptom Everyone is looking up to you
Fault You’re dancing on the table
Action Find someone with a little extra padding to cushion your fall

Symptom Every girl in the room looks like a Page 3 model
Fault You’ve got your beer goggles on
Action Remove immediately

Symptom The floor is moving
Fault You’re being carried out
Action Find out where to

Symptom The beer is crystal clear
Fault It’s water, your mate is trying to sober you up
Action Punch him

Symptom You’re vomiting
Fault You’ve had a dodgy pint
Action Try another just to check out this theory

Symptom The room’s gone dark
Fault The bar has closed
Action Find another one that’s open

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